Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Labyrinth Storage

C’mon down to Labyrinth Storage, where we’ve got miles of storage around every turn. It’s A-maze-ing! Your first month’s rent is only $2.

Whether you’re storing a whole house or just need a place to stash holiday decorations, Labyrinth Storage fills all your storage needs. Whoa! Did you hear that? Kind of a low, rumbling growl? We should probably get moving. Yeah, just follow that twine back to the front door.

Labyrinth Storage is completely climate and humidity controlled, so no mold or dust. No need for mothballs here. Look out, don’t trip over those human bones. C’mon, keep up. We’ve got to keep moving. Hup hup.

And, secure? Labyrinth Storage is the most secure storage facility in the tri-state area. No thief has ever made it out of our storage facility alive.

We also carry packing supplies. Hand trucks, padlocks, shields, moving blankets, swords, maces—we make your storage as pain-free as possible. Ignore those screams, by the way. That’s just … screams.

Alright, what happened to the twine? Did someone use my twine trail to tie up boxes? Jesus Christ! Which way’s the exit? Hello?! Anybody? Where’s the goddamn exit? We’ve got to get out of here! It’s coming!

Quick, hide in here! Shhh, it’ll hear your breathing ... This one is our standard 4’ by 8’ unit, by the way. It’s good for storing luggage, bikes, bookcases, whatever.