All Your Paperwork
Alright, just a few last steps, and we should be all set. We need to make sure all your paperwork is in order before we sign off on the agreement. I’m going to read off a list of documents, and if you could, please place them on the desk as I cross them off:
- W2 forms for the past five years
- Credit ratings
- Two forms of photo ID
- Social security card
- Proof of renter’s insurance
- Letter of good standing from a current landlord
- Letter of good standing from two previous landlords
- Stock dividends
- Records of student loan payments
- Letters confirming employment
- Promissory note from employers that company is not downsizing
- Criminal background check
- Retirement fund statements
- Bank statements for the past 12 months
- Psychological aptitude test
- Signature of a guarantor
- Proof you have never had bedbugs
Okay, it looks like you’ve got all your documentation in order. Congratulations! Here’s your new adoptive baby. I’m sure you’ll make a terrific ...
What? You didn’t want to adopt a baby? You wanted to rent an apartment in New York City? Oh no, you don’t enough paperwork for that.
Where’s your letter of reference from a film celebrity? Where is your grandmother’s Daughters of the American Revolution membership card? I don’t see your human genome map in here anywhere. No no no, you can’t rent an apartment here.
Are you sure you wouldn't rather have this baby? Look how cute it is.
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