Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Thanksgiving Parade Float

I'm having the hardest time brainstorming my float for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I wouldn't say I'm blocked per se, but for whatever reason, I can't come up with a concept. Turkeys? A cornucopia? What is this, amateur hour?

First, I thought I'd do a falling leaf motif. Maybe me and some Broadway celebrity friends gliding down from giant maple leaf parachutes. But, then I remembered that I did a parachute thing in 2004.

I had an idea for a float made out of fall berries--cranberries, juniper berries, lingonberries, mistletoe. That's a great motif, but what do you do with it? Make one giant berry out of other berries? Too meta.

Maybe a mobile ice skating rink? One sharp turn, though, and a triple lutz turns into a triple klutz. (Ha! At least I still have my sense of humor.)

It's nearly impossible to come up with something never done before. Let alone top my float from last year. How do you beat Bruno the Christmas Llama? The king head wears a heavy crown.

It's no help that the Macy's people are pressuring me for my technical specs. Can't they just trust that I'll have the best float again? I guess it makes sense after I did that 1:4 scale replica of the Chrysler Building. They had to widen 5th Avenue, but everyone agreed it was worth it.

Maybe a working rocket ship shaped like a sweet potato? How about a giant, smashed jack-o'-lantern? Is that too cynical? I don't want the television audience thinking I'm belittling Thanksgiving. I learned my lesson after my "Armchair Quarterback" float. One too many potato chip crumbs and suddenly it's a class statement.

I've got to come up with something soon. This isn't like the Rose Bowl Parade; I can't just slap a few mums onto chicken wire and call it "Splendor of Hope" or some bullshit.

Listen, I'm going to lock myself in my office, and I'm not coming out until I have an idea for my float. If I'm not out by lunchtime, please bring me some tomato soup and... Wait a minute! Tomato soup and a sandwich! It's so subtle, so comforting and universal. To the drafting board!