Homemade Ornaments
Growing up, my family always crafted homemade ornaments. Because, store-bought ornaments are for people who’ve never been hugged. Here are a couple of ideas for making your own Christmas ornaments for this … I guess Christmas. Let’s say Christmas.
The Popcyclops – Hot glue a single googly eye to a popsicle stick. If you want, draw a little beard using magic marker, thereby doubling the magic.
Snowball – Some people buy pre-made styrofoam balls at the craft store. Boring. I say dip a tennis ball into a bucket of Wite-Out Brand Correction Fluid. Allow three weeks to fully dry. (You should have started this project earlier.) When dry, add goggly eyes.
Felt Monster – Hot glue three googly eyes onto a scrap of felt. Felt monster.
Origami Crane – This one’s easy. Buy a pack of origami paper. There should be a pre-folded paper crane included in the packet. Use that as an ornament and throw away the rest of the paper. Add googly eyes.
Candy Cane Heart – Glue together two candy canes in the shape of a heart. For the first day, this ornament is called “Candy Cane Heart.” By day two, it’s called “Cluster of Ants.” At day five, all that’s left is the glue and the googly eyes.
Cookie Cutter Ornament – Tie a ribbon to a cookie cutter. Boom! Done and done. This is turning out to be the best goddamn Christmas ever. Look at this pile of ornaments. I’m gonna treat myself to a break after all this crafting …. Ooh, look at this. Somebody left out a little mulled wine. Don’t mind if I do … Oh, shit! I forgot to add the googly eyes!
Cardboard Star with Macaroni – Trace a star onto a piece of cardboard. Paint yellow using washable tempera paints. Glue pieces of macaroni onto said star, allowing room for the important googly eyes at the star’s points.
Glitter Pine Cone – The name of this one might be a little confusing. Essentially, it’s that you sprinkle glitter onto a pine cone. Googly eyes optional.
Paper Mache Elf Shoe – Capture an elf. Pull off his cute little shoes and re-release him into the wild. Use the shoes as a mold to create paper mache versions. Discard the shoes, since keeping elf shoes in the house overnight is bad luck. Paint the paper mache red or green. Fill with loose googly eyes.
Puffy Paint CD – Take an old CD and make a holiday design using puffy paint. Do not use googly eyes on this one, because we don’t want to seem ostentatious, do we? Dooooo weeeeee?
Bedazzled Baby Sock – Cover a former baby sock with dozens of tiny googly eyes. You can buy special metallic gem googly eyes online at any scrapbooking website.
Cross Stitch Santa – Ask your great-aunt to make you this one. Chip in on googly eyes though, you cheapskate.
Nativity Scene with Googly Eyes – Be careful with this one. Unless done just right, it may come across a little blasphemous.
Have fun making ornaments! Can’t wait to see them on your tree.
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