Missed Connections
6 Train at 14th Street
You: Pretty blonde wearing a red coat and carrying shopping bags.
Me: Pea coat and messenger bag. Glasses.
We got on at the same time, and I kinda stole the seat you were going for. You rolled your eyes and mumbled the word “asshole.” I pretended to read on my phone. Thought we had a real “Sam & Diane thing” happening. Didn’t get your name. What if it’s Diane? That’d be weird.
Contact me below if you felt it too.
Equinox Gym
You: Personal trainer with brown hair and big biceps.
Me: Woman who fell on the elliptical machine.
You helped me up and offered me a towel to staunch the blood flowing from my nose. I had split my yoga pants, so I didn’t have time to thank you. On my way out, I saw you holding hands with the girl at the front desk. Hope that’s not a thing.
If you like “fixer-uppers,” call me.
Waitress at Chi Chi’s in 2002
Took me awhile to get up the nerve to write this.
You: Waitress at the Chi Chi’s in Scottsdale.
Me: Came in once for nachos.
You smiled at me and I sensed a bond. Hepatitis A outbreak shut down the restaurant chain in 2004, so I never came back. Good nachos, though.
If you think of me as often as I think of you, write me.
Mermot-Kline Gallery (Chelsea)
At an art opening.
You: Man in black t-shirt and black blazer.
Me: Human statue hired for the event.
Thought we had a real connection, but I couldn’t turn to make eye contact. I was the one painted silver.
You can find me through Human Statue and Party Clowns Booking, Inc.
M86 Bus Saturday
You: Lady reading romance novel.
Me: Man screaming about the CIA.
I kept staring at you aggressively and tugging at my own hair. You shifted uncomfortably. I felt a connection I haven’t since my abduction by the Masons. Know you felt it, too.
Don’t contact me through electronic means. (They’re watching.)
Downtown 6 Train
You: Guy in a pea coat.
Me: Lady in red coat.
You thought fast and nabbed a seat I was going for. I thought it showed a lot of initiative and drive. I mumbled “Bravo,” but don’t think you heard. I’d love to know if you’re such a go-getter in the rest of your life.
Contact me ASAP. I don’t have time for lollygaggers.
