Notes on Your Font
I'm going to give you a few quick notes on the font you’ve created. I realize you didn’t ask for notes, but I’ve put a great deal of thought into this, so just shut up and listen. I said shut up!
First off, your ascenders are resplendent! My goodness, I simply adore your ascenders. Many designers get so focused on their descenders they completely forget their ascenders. Your ratio of cap height to ascender height... I’m speechless.
You’re descenders, on the other hand, are boorish and abrasive. Tsk. It’s as though you put all your eggs into your acscender basket, and you forgot completely your descenders. I see a disturbing lack of focus in your descenders. I pity the baseline grid that has to accommodate that lower-case "g."
Moving on to serifs. Solid. Not the worst serifs I’ve ever seen, but certainly not the best. Did I ever tell you about the serifs Lennart Waldenström made for his display font, Kortenkasse Grotesque? Organic. Delicate yet sturdy. Divine. His serifs were something out of Swan Lake. Yours are strained yet passable.
Your em dashes and en dashes, though, are arrogant and ill-mannered.
You’ve overworked your dipthongs and ligatures. That’s a clear indicator that a designer has gotten into typography for all the wrong reasons. The type world isn’t all glitz and glamour. Beware the draw of ligatures. A glyph here, a glyph there--the next thing you know, you’ll be designing dingbats in some dank alley for used copies of Creative Suite.
Listen, I can see by your ampersand that you have a great deal of raw talent. I’m simply trying to bring it out in you. It’s not your fault you don’t know your crossbar from your baseline. You’re young and stupid. That’s to be expected. Stop crying! If I’d wanted you to cry, I would have told you my thoughts on your drop caps.
Honestly, if you couldn't handle a little criticism, you shouldn't have not asked for it.
My Notes On Your Script
Okay, first, I think your script is terrific. Thank you so much for asking my opinions on it. For the most part, I think everything is in place, but I do have a few ideas. So here goes:
- I think the opening scenes are nice—very visual, snappy dialogue—but, the screenplay really starts rolling on page 78 with the dining hall scene. So, I think you should just start there and cut everything up to page 77.
- I like your sense of place in the script. You paint a very good picture of a claustrophobic space station. It gave me chills.
- I like the character of you. I know you named her Jessica Striker, but it’s pretty much your personality in an astronaut’s body. And, I think that’s great. It’s good to have a hero with flaws.
- One thing I didn’t like was the villain. He seemed a bit too monstrous and cruel. The audience needs a credible bad guy, so that the danger feels real. Also, I don’t know why he wears my brown sweatshirt and has my beard. How is that appropriate in space?
- (By the way, you left your lap desk and a couple skirts behind at the apartment. I’ll be away at 1pm on Thursday if you want to get them. You can leave your key on the kitchen table.)
- I thought your ending was really cute. It showed a fresh innocence about how the world works. I’m sure a lot of little girls out there will really connect with the idea that one character can be completely wrong and the other completely right.
- When the heroine finds a great new boyfriend, you fail to address how he’ll react to the heroine being a lying skank.
- On page 112, when you have the heroine disintegrate the villain with her space laser, maybe you could have her slowly crush him with her nagging instead.
Other than those notes, I think your script is in really good shape. You might want to run spellcheck in a few places, but nothing big. Oh, and I don’t think it’s customary to have casting suggestions at the front, so you might want to cut that. Also, Cameron Diaz? Really? Are you sure you don’t mean someone fatter?
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[Author's note: Blog readers, it's probably confusing that I talk about my wife in one post and then about having an imaginary girlfriend/breakup in the next. There's a simple answer. Laziness.]