The Birds and the Bees
If you think it's awkward telling your kids about the birds and the bees, just imagine what it was like having "the talk" with my wife about the bird and the bee and the other bee.
At first, she didn't know what I was saying. Had there been other bees? Was it the same bird? What does the second bee do while the bird about the first bee were doing birds-and-bees stuff?
So, I carefully explained that I had never done anything with another bee before. I had only watched a “documentary” on Cinemax about bees. I just thought an additional bee might be something fun to incorporate into our nest/hive. Would she be interested in that?
Turns out she was very interested. I guess my wife had been fantasizing about bird-on-bee-on-bee stuff for a while. She even had another bee in mind. Which was awesome. Then she told me who it was.
And I was like, "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa. Bees in this scenario are lady bees. Why would a bee be her dance instructor, Hector? That doesn't make any sense." Then we got into a long argument about stingers, which I think shows a distressing literal-mindedness on her part.
Anyway, huge fight. Super late night, and we never ended up settling on the proper bird to bee ratio.
We did tentatively agree that next time the bird could flap his wings while the bee makes honey. I'm not exactly sure what that metaphor means, but knowing my wife, it's not going to be a dirty/fun as it sounds.
