We Need To Facebook
So, I talked with my nephew, Donny, and I decided that Mitch’s Surplus Medical Supplies needs to get on the Facebook. For too long, we’ve gotten new business based on customer satisfaction, word of mouth, and careful community interaction. But, that’s all the past. The future is the Facebook.
Now, I know a lot of you are saying, “Mitch, why now? Aren’t we doing okay selling reasonably priced surplus medical supplies as is?” Ah ha! See, I caught you! In that hypothetical thought of yours I just spoke aloud, you thought/said the word “okay.” Well, we should be doing better than okay; we should be doing the Facebook numbers. I don’t know exactly what those numbers are, but I assume they’re huge.
I mean, everywhere you turn, it’s the Facebook this and the Twitter that. Somebody’s making a load of money off this stuff, and I think it should be us. So, here’s what we do:
Step 1 – We get on the Facebook. That means setting up a password that we can all remember. I suggest the word “compression,” because the computer is right near the compression hosiery.
Step 2 – We make a page where people can talk about how much they enjoy Mitch’s Surplus Medical Supplies.
Step 3 – We see what happens.
Step 4 - Maybe our “fans” start sharing photos of their purchases in use. They can post personal stories of surplus medical supplies they’ve enjoyed. I don’t know what these people do on the Facebook. But, it must be goddamn fascinating, I’ll tell you that.
Step 4 – Ask around as to how people monetize all this stuff. I’m sure somebody’s figured it out.
Step 5 – Lean back and let the Facebook money roll in.
I haven’t crunched the numbers yet, but this seems like a pretty intuitive plan. Let’s cancel all our existing marketing and move over to the Facebook. Donny said he could make us up a Facebook website with the Twittering and the like.
Maybe we throw in a deal that if people make their own Facebooks of our surplus medical supplies, they can get a ten percent discount on their next purchase of a wound care product.
Somebody get on that. I gotta go clean up a spill in the hernia cushion aisle.
