Alright then, a bit about little ol' me.
[Text of the above audio. Best read in a deep, Southern Gentleman accent.]
Now, I’m just an old-time southern lawyer. I don’t cotton much to the fancy things in life. If I had my way, I’d spend my days sittin’ on an old porch swing, sippin’ on a nice, cool ginger beer or lemonade, watchin’ the moss grow on Miss Bessie’s willow trees and reminiscin’ on a nice game of golf I saw when I was a young boy.
Maybe run my thumbs under my suspenders—a new maroon pair every Christmas from my wife, Adelaide—and ponder a life lesson or two imparted onto me by a mystical colored fella I met after the war. Sit there hearin’ his soothin’ voice in my head replayin’ gentle words of wisdom about takin’ it easy and enjoyin’ life as it comes along.
Instead, I’m here in my offices, tryin’ to sync my Blackberry calendar to my Google calendar. But, our IT manager has uploaded a new Linux-based OS to our client server, which he claimed would ease some of the bounce back we were getting’ durin’ our batch processin’ of large data dumps for our class action clients.
Every time I boot up the shared drive, I’m gettin’ these Windows registry errors, and I tried to log in as the network administrator and look at some of the lines of code to see if I could recognize any common glitches in the information architecture. But, it seems to be havin’ problems authenticatin’ passwords, so I’ll just ask my assistant, Jeffrey, to do it when I return home from my trip to Dubai on Wednesday.