Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

This Horrible Oatmeal

Posted on August 27, 2010

Listen, I don’t want to be a jerk or anything. I really appreciate you making lunch, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. But, ugh, this oatmeal tastes terrible.

I mean, I’m not an oatmeal expert, but there is something seriously wrong with this oatmeal. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Is oatmeal supposed to be spicy?

I guess I’m just used to my mom’s oatmeal, which was kinda sweet and buttery. Sometimes it had a little apple or cinnamon. I’ve never had oatmeal with chunks of green pepper in it, though.  I’m not the biggest fan.

Did the recipe call for green pepper, or did you improvise? Maybe you shouldn’t trust your instincts on this kind of thing.

Sorry. I know I sound ungrateful. It’s not like I slaved over the stove all morning. But, yikes, this oatmeal is gross. Did you try any before you served it? I think you might have spilled some cumin in here. Also, are these kidney beans?

Normally, you are such a great cook. But, for whatever reason this oatmeal turned out kinda disgusting. Next time—

What? It’s not oatmeal? It chili? Oooh, well then it’s delicious! Hey, thanks for the tasty chili, Buddy.

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