Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Things I’m Thankful For

The following is a list of things I'm thankful for on this thanks-based holiday:

- My health, which is moderate to high moderate.

- My hammock. I would have listed this first, but I didn't want to jinx my health.

- My day job. Much better than my old day job of being unemployed and catching the second half of Miss Congeniality 2 on USA every couple of weeks.

- Mife, which is short for "my wife." (I'm also thankful for my amazing abbreviation skills. Myzingabbills, if you will.)

- New batteries for my beard trimmer. I now look up to 20% less werewolfy.

- The non-racist branch of my family.

- The five dollar bill I just found in this turkey costume I haven't worn since last year.

- The Internet and it's amazing spellcheck capabilities.

- All my expensive birthday gifts. The inexpensive, yet thoughtful gifts are okay, too, I guess.

- Dogs.

- My eyeballs. They needed reading glasses just in time to make me look even more pensively handsome.

- That part in Van Morrison's Sweet Thing where the violins go "doo do do do do doo dooo."

- My ability to laugh at myself. Or, more specifically, my ability to laugh at the thing I just wrote and then ask mife (my wife) if she's read it yet.

- Netflix Streaming's you-might-like suggestions. Quirky foreign sex comedies? Don't mind if I do!

- Jack Handey.

- My annual stop at Wendy's during my Thanksgiving road trip to Cleveland. Oh, number seven with frosty, absence has made my heart grow so fond.

- My blog readers. The both of you.