“Facts,” Let’s Say
The following is a list of Friday Fun Facts. (Are things still called facts when they're not true, per se? I was going to call this post Tuesday Trivia, but I didn't want to wait until Tuesday. It's a tough one, because "trivia" is so much less of a weighted term than "facts." Ooh, look at me; I'm a fact; I'm true. Shut up, facts!)
Anyway, this is all stuff. Stuff and/or things:
- In China, Chinese lanterns are called "French lanterns," and in France they're called "slammin' banana lanterns."
- 25% of Americans cannot find celebrities' homes on a map.
- Capers are disgusting. Fact.
- Honey bees see black light posters as completely normal posters.
- Gorillas who go prematurely gray-backed overcompensate by driving around in little gorilla cars made out of banana leaves. ("Drive" is a misnomer; they just sit there in a pile of leaves and grunt. Wouldn't it be cute if they drove, though? And wore suspenders?)
- The movie Like Water For Chocolate was based on an off-off-Broadway play called Like Lightbulbs For Slammin' Banana Lanterns.
- Lincoln's niece, Kennedy Johnson, drove a Ford. Kennedy's nephew, Lincoln F. Polk, drove a Nixon.
- Captain Cook is famous for having discovered crunchberries.
- Entertainment Weekly is the only magazine written exclusively by people who masturbate to the Twilight movies.
- In rural Appalachia, some people go their entire lives without using the word "iconography."
- In Russia, condoms are called "French saddles." In France, condoms are called "soccer."
- The most humane way to kill a lobster is by informing it that its son is gay in front of the entire book club.
- Richard Burton got his start playing a character named Goofer St. Wank in the 1942 teen sex comedy The Randy Misfits of Barnaby Street.
- Gnomes and trolls are mortal enemies, but they'll sometimes hang out together when drunk and complain about fairies.
- Peru has the largest population of people with ugly ears.
- The term Face Monster has now been translated into over 400 languages and has a development deal with CBS.
- Babies are born with an extra set of kneecaps that fall off at two weeks.
- What's available on Netflix Streaming makes up 85-90% of my daily conversations.
See more made-up facts here and here.
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