Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Car Accidents

Posted on March 25, 2011

Perfectly valid reasons for my 12 most recent car accidents:

1) Texting my friend Nate about this awesome dog I saw, which was awesome.

2) The car next to me had a spoiler, which I assumed meant he wanted to race.

3) Putting on vampire makeup in the rear view mirror on my way to a Twilight-themed group sex thingy.

4) Driving home from a movie that had a car chase.

5) Really big sneeze sprayed my bowl of boiling hot tomato soup all over the windshield.

6) Not drunk per se, but definitely not not drunk.

7) Minivan ahead of me had a particularly engrossing episode of The Backyardigans playing in the back seat.

8) General rage.

9) Wife’s cousin on a Hooters billboard.

10) Driving a convertible and a sparrow flew into my mouth.

11) Had a crush on one of the EMT first responders.

12) Was practicing driving left-footed.


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