Bow Tying
How to tie a bow tie, from the instructional video series "How Do...? With Andy Ross."
The Art Show
My thoughts on a recent art show.
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[Text of the above audio. Best if read in a thick German accent.]
This weekend, I attended the rather large Armory Art Show in New York, and I found myself pondering the same question that critics and art historians have been asking for decades. Yes, it is beautiful. Yes, it hangs on the wall. But, is it a vagina?
I know, I know, it is the most subjective of questions. I assume many of you have settled on the classic answer: “I know a vagina when I see it.” But, especially in the world of contemporary art, I think it is an uncertainty that demands further study.
Anyone can look at the established, canonical artists like Egon Schiele or Georgia O’Keeffe and see that, yes, this is clearly a vagina. But, what of the work of Jeff Koons or Takashi Murakami, pieces that mix artistic technique with brazen commercialism? Are these still vaginas? (In the latter’s case, I believe it to be a mix. Some work is vaginal, while other pieces are something else completely.)
Can a pile of spilt sesame seeds be a vagina? Is a statue of Scrooge McDuck a vagina? What about a video installation of man hitting his penis with a belt? Surely, we can agree that this is a vagina.
Some of you might scoff, “Tut tut, my five-year-old can glue a triangle of shag carpet to an American flag. That doesn’t make it a vagina.” Well, I think this brings up further questions rather than easy answers. Is the scenario, itself, a sort of meta-discussion on the role of vaginas and their place in our daily lives? Can anything be a vagina when seen through the perspective of an artist?
I don’t believe we can come up with a so-called “answer,” but the topic deserves deep, penetrative analysis. Every day, we must strive to dive face-first into our basic precepts of what is and what is not a vagina.
About
This is the blog of New York writer and performer Andy Ross.
Originally from Wisconsin, Andy Ross started his comedy career in Chicago, where he performed stand-up and graduated from the Writing Program at the Second City.
In New York, Andy has contributed to The Onion News Network, Comedy Central's Indecision Forever blog, and MAD Magazine. He put up his one man show, Melancomedy, at the Peoples Improv Theater in NYC and The Annoyance Theatre in Chicago. You can see a clip here.
As a storyteller, Andy has performed at shows all over the city including TOLD, The Liar Show, and the Moth GrandSLAM. He runs a monthly storytelling show called Real Characters that mixes true stories with character monolgues. Go here for details and a schedule.
Learn more about him and check for news updates about his performances here.