April Fools’ Day
Hey, guys, I have a great idea for an April Fools’ Day prank this year. I think we should murder people!
I know, right? Such a funny prank. I love coming up with prank ideas for April First. I mean it's like, "Hello? Don't you doofuses remember what day it is? You so deserve all the embarrassment of getting murdered.”
Oh my god, can you imagine the looks on their face when we murder them? They'll be all like, "Whaaa? Are you murdering me? I so totally didn't expect that." And, we'll be all like, "Yeah, boom! Prank!" Ha ha ha ha! Priceless.
I figure we'll dress up all in black tracksuits with pantyhose over our heads. And, we'll draw grinning devil faces in lipstick over the pantyhose and we’ll use ceremonial knives---totally create a sense of authenticity to the prank. Really do it up, full-prankster-style.
Oh man, this is gonna be awesome! Remember last April First, when we lit that orphanage on fire? Such a funny prank. All those orphans were out on the lawn crying, and we ran up and were all like, "Dude, you guys are so pranked! Ha haa!" The looks on their faces!
And, by the time the police came, we had all snuck down into the sewers, where we've been living for the past twelve months planning our next prank. Remember that? Remember how we built a civilization down here based on discarded food scraps and watching YouTube videos of flash mobs?
And, we've been planning a new world order where we---the hilarious prankers---terrorize the plebeian, fool populace.
Well, now is the time to rise up and deliver our devastating endgame prank! Now is the time to return to the surface world and begin our thousand years of despotic, prank-filled rule!
Rise up, my army! Rise, pranksters! Rise, punkers! Rise funsters and cut-ups! Rise, goofballs and thugs, jackasses and guerilla theaterists! Join me in arms.
The drumbeat commences on the horizon. Lo, it portends our advance. The hounds of prank strain against their leash. Can you hear their roar? I said, CAN YOU HEAR THEIR ROAR?!!
GRAB YOUR WEAPONS, BROTHERS! PICK UP KNIFE AND AXE, WHOOPIE CUSHION AND RUBBER CHICKEN! NOW IS THE TIME! TODAY IS THE DAY OF FOOLS’ RECKONING!
TODAY, MY PRANSTERS… TODAY WE PRANK!
