My Deepest Sympathies
Dear Barry,
I wanted let me know that I am deeply saddened over your recent news. When I heard, I was heartbroken about what had happened. Marie told me about it before you sent out an email confirming, but I simply couldn’t believe that you got a six-figure book deal. Now, I see it’s true. It just goes to show that life is random and unfair.
It’s hard to imagine someone so young (younger than me even) going through something like this—a bidding war over his first book. It doesn’t make any sense. I can remember just last year seeing your book when you sent it to me for notes. It seemed so young and innocent—undeveloped and naïve, if you will. It’s hard to imagine a book like that ending up where it did. It makes me very sad.
And to add insult to injury, I hear it’s been optioned as a movie, with you slated to adapt the screenplay. With Ryan Gosling slated to play you, even though he looks exactly like me. Fate can be a cruel thing.
If it puts things into perspective for you, the world is a fucked up place sometimes. Please send my deepest sympathies along to you family for having to deal with this tragedy and your huge ego, which I can only assume will get worse as you fully process these events.
It’s hard to believe in a God, when things like this happen. But, please take solace in the fact that you are a conniving prick. I know that knowledge helps me.
With regret,
Andy
