Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

My Dance Moves

Posted on March 18, 2011

Wedding Dancing

At a recent marriage ceremony, I had to defend my title of World's Greatest Wedding Dancer. Yet again. I've become resigned to it.

For the last twenty years or so, every wedding I've attended has seen some young punk calling me out for a dance-off, forcing me to put him in his place. It's been too many to count. But, I can still see the looks in each of their eyes when they got beat and slinked off the dance floor. I almost feel bad for them.

However, I'll admit I'm getting on in years. My shimmy shimmy isn't what it used to be. See this tremble? Those aren’t jazz hands.

Wedding dancing is a young man's game, and I won't be the World's Greatest Wedding Dancer forever. (Hush now. Don't cry, little one. There's no need for those tears.)

One day, I'll be dancing with my back to the reception hall door. (Look at me. Get your face out of your hands and listen. This is important.) And, some young buck with fast enough feet and a lucky song selection will take me out. I only pray it's quick and doesn't involve crumping.

Now, when that happens, I want you to promise me something: I want you to take my moves. I wouldn't rest knowing that they were in the hands of some stranger.

I want to you take my “elbows up shoulder drop” and my “march in place with head bob” and learn them well.

Now, don’t be cocky. Start small at a Bar Mitzvah or an office picnic. Then, when you’re ready… (Yes, you will be ready! I believe in you!) When you’re ready, I want you to go to a wedding and find the biggest, best wedding dancer there. It’s usually the uncle in the loudest tie. And, I want you to dance him into the ground. It’ll show people you mean business.

Do not let your guard down. When folks see you doing my “cantilevered disco lasso with hip popping,” it’ll be like you’ve painted a target on your chest. Dancers are going to be coming at you from all sides. You stay focused and shake it.

Now, listen to me. Listen. Stop your lip quivering and listen…

I am so sorry to have to bring you into this cutthroat world of dancing at weddings. I wish you could go off and lead a calmer life, like that of a karaoke singer or a surgeon. But, I’ve seen you on that dance floor, and it’s in your blood. Just like it was in my blood.

I have to go now. There’s an Earth Wind & Fire album somewhere that needs seeing to. (I thought I told you not to cry. Shhh.) But, if you ever need me, just look to the spot between the catering table and the coat check. I’ll always be there watching over you and twirling and twirling.


Dancing with Myself

Posted on September 24, 2010

Today is my 200th blog post! I’m pretty excited about that. Thank you to everybody who has been reading it so far.

I decided to celebrate by making the video above. I’ve talked about my amazing dancing before quite a bit, and I thought it was time to show it off. If that doesn't sound appealing, some other stuff happens about halfway through. Hope you enjoy it.

Remember to keep coming back, and feel free to hit the "share" button early and often. Thanks again.

- Andy


World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer

Posted on March 29, 2010

Wedding Dancing

When I say that I’m the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer, I hope that doesn’t come across as cocky or vain. I am simply stating a fact, like “the sky is blue” or “towels are for drying things.” I am the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer. Fact. Period. Done. Fact.

It’s not an insult to anyone else’s dancing. It’s not a challenge. Believe me, it’s not a challenge. It’s just something I’ve come to accept about myself, and something I’m finally starting to embrace.

I don’t know how it happened. It’s not like I dreamed as a young boy of becoming the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer. I never trained for it or took lessons. I just sorta fell into it. I guess it was that perfect mix of natural talent and luck. The opportunity (read: weddings) presented itself, and I rose (read: pop and locked) to the occasion.

Part of it is that I don’t just move to the music; I become the music. Earth Wind & Fire, Prince, Sister Sledge—the rhythm enters me through my chest and streams out through my limbs. It’s as though my body becomes a conduit so that the beat can gain physical form. Sometimes I feel like the music takes over, and I watch myself from the outside as I shake my hips. What I see looks good.

It’s not just all hips with me, either. As the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer, I am not afraid to throw my hands up in the air if the situation calls for it, which it always does.

Listen, I don’t go into a wedding reception to intentionally outshine the bride. Strike that. I guess I do. But, there’s nothing malicious about it. In fact, I believe I’m helping the bride by making her wedding the most memorable day possible. Without me and my World’s Greatest Dancing, it’s not really a reception; it’s just some sad get-together after the ceremony.

As the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer, I go to a wedding with one goal in mind—to have every guest there saying, “Who is that amazing dancer? No, no, the chubby guy over there spinning and spinning. My god, he’s incredible. And sweaty.” If I hear that, I know I’ve done my job.

Twirling, shimmying, hustling, electric boogalooing, dropping it like it’s hot—as the World’s Greatest Wedding Dancer, that is what I bring to the table. That is my gift to the bride and groom. (Sometimes I’ll buy them an ice cream maker, but the real gift is the dancing.) And, it is also my gift to the world.