Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

My Superpower

Posted on March 5, 2010


I’m trying to decide which superpower I’d want.

Flying is out, because I think I’d get chilly. Also, my contacts would dry out. Invisibility seems cool, but I don’t trust myself to stay away from women’s locker rooms, and I don’t want to be that guy.

I’ve thought about the ability to morph into animals, but it gets so complicated. Do you keep your human brain so that you know how to turn back? Let’s say you do. If you turn into a hummingbird, how do you fit a giant human brain inside there? Is it just packed in tight?

Pausing time seems rad, but again, the cold thing. Because, heat is just molecules moving around, so if you freeze time, doesn’t that mean it’s absolute zero all around you?

What? No, I know I need to make up my mind. There’s just a lot to think about.

Yes, I know you’re a very busy genie. You’ve been saying that ever since I let you out of the lamp. Seriously, don’t rush me. I’m still not sure these gold cowboy boots and Six Flags tickets were the best first two wishes.

Man, I wish I knew which was the best superpower. SUPER STRENGTH! I got it, super strength! Genie, I wish I had incredibly useful super strength. Wait, what? What do you mean I already used my third wish? Where are you going? Genie? Genie, get back here! Don’t turn into a cloud of smoke without my super strength!