Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

The Olive Diet

Posted on October 18, 2010

The Olive DietTM is a simple, scientific diet plan devised to help you shed pounds quickly and easily. I’ve spent years formulating a foolproof weight loss system without calorie counting or awkward exercise equipment. It’s all based around one simple idea: Olives are disgusting.

That’s it! It couldn’t be easier!

With the Olive DietTM, you put olives on everything—pizza, tuna salad, appetizer plates. You’ll never again eat too much, because olives are super gross. Oversize portions are a thing of the past. Going back for seconds? Never. Just two bites into any meal involving olives, and your gag reflex will keep an eye on your waistline.

Black olives, green olives, kalamata, picholine, dry-cured, brine-cured—they’re all equally repulsive. Ugh, just talking about it is making my stomach upset. Hopefully yours too. That’s the secret to keeping portions small and meals sensible.

Feeling hungry for a sandwich? Try this simple recipe: Aged prosciutto, smoked ham, arugula, and Dijon mustard on crispy French bread. Sounds pretty tasty. Now add olives. Revolting! Inedible even. A nibble is all you’ll be able to hold down.

With the Olive DietTM, you can eat anything, as long as you put olives on top. Lasagna, dips, fish, pasta, salad, burritos, French toast, pudding, grilled cheese, cake, tomato soup, tiramisu—literally any dish can be ruined with the addition of olives. Olives are Nature’s appetite suppressant.

I guarantee you’ll lose inches around your tummy within weeks. You’ll never again experience the guilt and sluggishness from overdoing it at the dinner table. In fact, you’ll start feeling nauseous just thinking about the dinner table. I do.

How did I come up with this diet plan? Through years of experimentation. I discovered at a very young age that olives were yucky, and I’ve built an entire theory of nutrition around that idea. The Olive DietTM has literally been decades in the making.

“But, what happens when I get desensitized to olives and start ignoring their sickening, vile flavor?” you might ask. Well, first, I seriously doubt that’s going to happen. But, if it does, the Olive DietTM has a fallback plan: Capers.

Capers are kind of like if olives pooped out tiny, disgusting rabbit turds on your plate. Even looking at capers will help you avoid eating normally delicious foods.

If—through some sort of reverse miracle—capers don’t keep you from eating, you can move on to sun-dried tomatoes or, as a last resort, cooked green peppers. The Olive DietTM is about so much more than simply olives; it’s about any disgusting food that can ruin a meal and curb your appetite.

For more information about the Olive DietTM and its amazing results, send a check or money order to Olive Diet Industries for my handy educational booklet, Olives: Blech. Or, go online to order my instructional DVD, The Olive Diet: Whaaa? Gross!

Order yours today!