Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Doggy Daycare

Posted on June 23, 2011


Well, hello there! Welcome to Clarke & Co. Doggy Daycare, where we provide only the finest care for man’s best friend. Located across from the Trader Joe’s on Route 55, Clarke & Co. is a full-service facility offering dog daycare, cage-free overnight boarding, and doggy fitness facilities. We love to pamper your pets.

We treat your beloved pups as more than simply horrible little poops machines, eating and shitting and gnawing at their own genitals in the corner. We treat them like family.

Your pooch will receive one-on-one care from our professional staff trained in cleaning up mounds of shedded hair and drool and puked-up grass or roadkill or whatever other bullshit your dog has gotten into. Our courteous and kind trainers strive to make your pets feel special and loved and weirdly entitled. Especially the little yappy lapdog ones.

Clarke & Co. is fully prepared for any special dietary requirements your dog might have, like gluten allergies, which we completely agree are real and not some trendy fad or gross control-issue-thingy. We can also handle dogs with severe hip dysplasia or diabetes or other ailments that make their lives probably not worth living.

We’ve been providing careful dog care for over twenty years at this location. That’s two decades of expertise and care and barking. Constant, ever-present barking. Two decades of that. Two decades. A third of my life. Time I could have been spending watching my son grow up.

Still feeling unsure about sending us your little bundle of displaced emotional baggage? Feel free to explore our facilities. You’ll see dozens of happy pooches taking up precious resources that could have been going towards helping Africa or Haiti. We’ve got a playroom with more square feet than the house my grandmother grew up in. And, our round-the-clock spa will meticulously groom your pups, almost as if we’re pretending they won’t go roll in deer shit at their first chance. Their very first chance.

So, come on by! Clarke & Co. Doggy Daycare: A home away from home for your horrible, barking shit machines.