Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Crowded Fallout Shelter

Posted on August 6, 2010

Boy, this nuclear fallout shelter got crowded real quick, huh? I guess it's understandable, but geez louise! Everybody must've had the same idea.

That's the thing about a big city. You think you're the only person who knows the secret location of a fallout shelter. But, even if only one in a hundred people also know, that shelter is gonna fill up fast.

I'm not sure why this particular shelter is so popular, though. It has a very distinct old man smell. Maybe nobody else notices it.

But, whatever. Where else are you going to go on a Friday night during a nuclear disaster? Its not like I can be mad folks know about my "special spot." I don't own the place. I think that guy with the shotgun does.

I just wish I had enough room to turn around. I saw a can of chipped beef on the shelf behind me, and I could really go for some chipped beef. I haven't eaten since the sirens went off.

Do you think anybody might get tired of the crampedness and leave before the nuclear holocaust is over? Probably not. People tend to be stubborn about this kind of stuff.

Anyway, I had an idea to help pass the time while we're down here: a sing-along. Everybody likes a sing-along. Hey, everybody! Who wants to have a sing-along? Maybe Sweet Caroline? Nobody? I guess they can't hear me over the weeping. DOES ANYBODY WANT TO SING SOME NEIL DIAMOND? A SING-ALONG? NOBODY? Yikes, tough crowd.

...

Man, I can't believe I got stuck in the lame fallout shelter. Bunch of wet blankets, if you ask me. I am not looking forward to spending the next few years of Armagedon with you mopes. For real.

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