Levels of My Attention
Sometimes (read: often) I get distracted by my own thoughts or outside stimuli. I don’t mean to; I just do. That means that if I’m talking to you, you might not have my full attention. I apologize in advance.
It would probably be helpful to the both of us if you could gauge how much of my concentration you’ve got beforehand. So, here are the levels of my attention from greatest to least:
(Most Attentive)
1. We are in a room together / The TV is off.
2. We are in a room together / The TV is on.
3. We are in a room together / I have said something embarrassing to a stranger earlier / I am obsessing over it.
4. We are in a room together / I’m searching Facebook to see if that person has posted something about me embarrassing myself.
5. We are in a bar / I’ve had two drinks to calm down.
6. We are in a bar / I’ve had three drinks and am now drunk.
7. We are in a bar / I have said something embarrassing to the bartender (three drinks, remember).
8. We are on the phone after the bar / I am staring at a wall.
9. We are on the phone / I am microwaving nachos.
10. We are on the phone / I am eating nachos / A wolverine is attacking me.
11. A wolverine is attacking me and the TV is on.
12. I am exhausted from a wolverine attack.
13. I realize my nachos are gone / I am hungry.
14. I am obsessing over having said something embarrassing to the wolverine / Do you think it heard me call it a badger? / Was it offended?
15. The wolverine has not yet accepted my Facebook friend request where I apologized for calling it a badger / The TV is on / I am hungry.
(Least Attentive)
