Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Men With Ponytails

Posted on January 5, 2011

If there’s one thing we can learn from today, it’s to treat every day like it’s “Men, Cut Off Your Ponytails Day.” Let’s take the joy and the goodwill we’ve felt from today’s celebration, and let’s carry it forward though the rest of our lives.

A lot of folks out there say to themselves, “Sure, I’ll celebrate men getting rid of their gross ponytails every January 5th, but why should I worry about it the rest of the year?” Because it’s important; that’s why. Do you want your kids to grow up in a world where men wear ponytails?

It’s surprisingly easy to apply the lessons we learned this “Men, Cut Off Your Ponytails Day” to our daily lives. Whether it’s as simple as providing sharp scissors to a friend already considering cutting off his ponytail or something subtler, like pointing out he’s so “brave” to draw attention to his receding hairline with a ponytail.

We’ve all been to a jam band concert. We’ve all met an aging poetry professor. Male ponytails are more prevalent every year despite our best efforts.

Stringy ponytails are bad enough. But, things have escalated, and now you can see lush, flowing ponytails on men. As if they’re Brazilian soccer stars or something. Dreadlocked ponytails, gray ponytails, curly, straight, frizzy ponytails---you might feel like the problem is too big, like it’s too far gone. But, it’s not.

You can play a part in stopping the queasy discomfort of waiting behind a male ponytail in line for a movie. You can help men look slightly less pathetic in their Ferraris. Simply go to the “Men, Cut Off Your Ponytails Day” website and download a PDF of handy tips for ending the scourge of men with ponytails.

I thank you, and your children thank you.