Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Ironic Marching Band

Posted on July 11, 2011

Marching Band


Wanted: Brass and percussion players for ironic marching band. Must appreciate choreographed movement, John Phillips Sousa, and an arch sense of superiority.

Details: I am forming an ironic marching band to perform at zombie/superhero pub crawls and during halftime at adult Red Rover tournaments. We will be playing contemporary "classics" like Livin' la Vida Loca and Mambo Number 5, as if we actually enjoyed that kind of "music." We will also march in real, local parades in a mock imitation of the kind of pseudo-fascist, patriotic brainwashing that goes into precision military-style formations.

Eventually, the line between irony and genuine love of marching will blur. We will get very serious about practicing and mastering our steps. The smiles on children's faces in the crowds will warm our hearts, and a gentle nod from an aged veteran will bring a collective lump to our throats. This will lead to a sense of pride in our work that chips away at any judgement and sarcasm.

Soon, our marching band will lose any irony at all and simply "be." At some point, I assume we'll be replaced by an "ironic" ironic marching band, but we won't care. We'll be too focused on our families and building a strong, proud community at that point.

Requirements: Must commit to two hours of practice twice a week, including synchronized steps and sneering eye rolls. Must purchase own marching uniform, including those lame chinstrap helmets which are so awesome. Must be willing to grow mustache and/or severe bangs.

Serious inquiries only.