My First Time Sexting
- Ready?
- I guess. For what?
- This is my first time sexting. I’m a little nervous.
_ Don’t be. You’ll be great, Sexy.
- So um what are you wearing?
_ A black sweeter and a par of red undies.
- What’s a sweeter? It sounds sexy.
_ Sweater. lol
- Oh right. LOL.
_ What r u wearing?
- A business suit, except no pants or underwear. Black socks.
_ Um…
- I mean, manly jeans and an old cotton t-shirt.
_ Ooh, that sound sexy.
- You mean “sounds” sexy.
_ right whatever
- And earlier, you probably meant a “pair” of red undies.
_ sure yup
- Which is sexy.
_ ooh yeah. real sexy
- Are we not capitalizing? Is that a thing?
_ Fine. Where are you? R u touching yourself?
- Did I make you mad? Sorry. Again, 1st time sexting.
_ Its fine. R u touching yurself??
- A little, but I got distracted by punctuation and grammar.
- Can we keep on top of that? Sorry. It’s just that I used to be a copy editor at the college newspaper.
- Also “it’s.”
_ Yes. I will try. Now, please, are you touching yourself sexually?
- Yeah. And it feles so good, baby.
_ WTF? R U kidding me? Feles? After yur grammar diatribe?
- That was just a typo. Sorry.
- Hello? Still there?
- Mad?
- Hello?
_ not mad. Just stepped away for a smoke.
- OK. Good.
_ wanna start back upp from where we left off?
- Oh, that’s OK. I finished up while you were gone.
_ really???
- I have a thing for distant, withholding women.
_ women? Whadya mean women?
- Wait. Who is this? Pamela?
_ Pamela who? This is Patrick.. From raquetball.
- Oh, hey Patrick. This has been you the whole time?
_ yup. who’s pamela?
- Nevermind. Getting used to new phone.
- Still on for Saturday at 4pm?
_ yeah. reserved the court. who’s pamela???
- I gotta go. See you Saturday.
_ okay. talk Saturday, sexy.
