Our Tree House Fire
Alright, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but our tree house seems to be on fire.
Guys, calm down! Everything is going to be fine as long as we stay cool. This is why we have an emergency plan. I saw an Imax movie about fighting forest fires, so I nominate myself to be in charge of putting it out. All in favor? Great.
Bobby, you climb down the rope ladder and get the garden hose. Jordan, you help me bat down the flames with these dirty magazines your brother bought us. Tim, you just stay right where you are. It was your firecrackers that got us into all this.
What we want to do is create a perimeter around the flames. Jordan, make sure the fire doesn’t reach our paper airplane collection. That’s good. Good job, Jordan. Tim! Are you drinking an orange soda right now? Damn it, Tim, pour it on the fire! What do you mean you finished it? I can see it’s still half full.
BOBBY! How are we coming on that garden hose? Can I get an ETA? That means “estimated time of arrival.” Tim, go see if you can help Bobby untangle the hose.
I told you guys we should have gotten a fireman’s pole for this tree house. How awesome would it be right now if we had a real fireman’s pole to help fight this fire? Whoa, Jordan, don’t hit the fire with the Playboy. Ryan Carville at school is going to pay me ten bucks for that. Use the Maxim, instead.
Okay, it seems like we’ve got it under control. BOBBY! Never mind about the hose! Just get some wet towels or something. And, tell Tim he’s a butthead.
Good work, Jordan. Way to show hustle fighting that fire. Now, aren’t you glad that we don’t allow any girls in here? I can only imagine how much worse that would have been.
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