Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Welcome To Onam Pilates

Welcome to Onam Pilates.

At the Onam Pilates Center, you will find a warm, calming atmosphere filled with vague world music and the smell of cucumber. Here, students are encouraged to surpass their own expectations through a special form of advanced, super-stretchy Pilates. Onam Pilates is a nuturing yet challenging form developed by world-renowned Pilates master Onam Mendenhall. Hence the name. Did you catch that?

Revered internationally, Onam Mendenhall has taught his advanced variety of movement on six continents and in over one hundred countries. Since 1988, he has combined the practices of Pilates, yoga, belly dance, and tai chi into a complete, pleasantly multicultural system. In the process, Onam has fingered or performed oral on upwards of 3,000 lonely soccer moms. He is very tall and has lovely eyes.

In 2001, Onam founded the Onam Pilates Center™ (OPC), a comprehensive Pilates studio. This state-of-the-art facility features beautiful bamboo everything along with generic Asian and Middle Eastern art. There is also a gong. Here, students benefit from Onam’s more than 25 years of teaching experience and his extensive knowledge of the mature woman’s g-spot.

At Onam Pilates, we welcome everyone from the beginning student to the fifty-year-old lady with a smokin’ body but weather-beaten face. You know who we mean? The ladies who do trapeze or whatever, and from behind in their workout pants, they look pa-pow! But, then from the front, you think, Damn, lady, you should have stayed out of the sun a day or two in your life. Those are the people Onam enjoys “teaching” the most. He goes to town on those ladies.

Again, welcome. We hope you will enjoy the soothing mind-body-spirit practice of Onam Pilates along with Onam’s passion for his work and his generosity with orgasms.