Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Gauging Your Mood

Posted on March 16, 2011

Hey, do you have a minute to talk about something I hate? Or, do you want to wait until later, when you're in a more cynical mood? Because, I don't want you cheering me up.

If you are in the frame of mind to give people the benefit of the doubt, or if you’re feeling optimistic about your fellow man, just give me a dopey smile, and I'll move on.

However, if you agree with me that people are gross and stupid and their butts smell like butts, and you promise me not to play devil's advocate, maybe we can talk.

On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your mood? One being "shut your fat face," and ten being "bunnies: we love 'em." If you're at a six or higher, just forget it. I need somebody on the bitter end of the spectrum, because I am not looking for contrasting opinions right now. Not that I normally am.

You haven’t rolled your eyes yet, so that means you’re not annoyed by anything. Why don’t you take a few minutes to read some YouTube comments? Maybe look up the bio of someone younger and more successful than you. That always works for me.

Are you grumpy yet? You seem like you might be getting grumpy. Yeah, you definitely seem like you’re grumpy. Is it because I keep using the word grumpy? Is that what’s making you grumpy? Because, those frown lines make you seem grumpy. Ah ha! Now you seem grumpy!

Alright, now that you’re properly irritated, let’s talk.

Ryan over there just intentionally put me in the foulest mood, and I want to complain about him doing that…

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