Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

More St. Patrick’s Day Limericks

Posted on March 17, 2011


Last year, I wrote some filthy limericks for yourselves in honor of St. Patrick's Day. And, what an honor it must have been. Well, I've written some more, and here they are:

There was a young sailor named Kip
Who stopped in O’Shea’s for a nip;
The waitress that night though
Wore a dress oh so tight, so
To her he could give just the tip.

A man with a slew of green beads
Passed ‘em out as reward for misdeeds;
Like a kiss on the cheek
Or occasional peek
At those parts where a babe tends to feed.

A chip shop on Foster and Dean
Had never been said to be clean;
Filled with Irish devotion
They threw a promotion:
The food there would turn your face green.

A girl of the innocent type
Got caught up in St. Paddy’s Day hype;
She joined a drum corps,
Where she step-danced and more;
For she learned there to blow bag and pipe.

Sean O’Day on a trip to the pound
Was astonished by what he had found;
A dachshund named Beaner
Proved itself quite the wiener;
It was hung like an Irish wolfhound.

A dentist named Michael Magee
Could not have been nicer to me;
Though I've started to wonder
Why when he puts me under
I awake with a sore cavity.

A baker from Howe prone to fits
In the process of losing his wits
Proceeded to go nuts
And bake fifty doughnuts
The shape of dicks, clits, slits, and tits.

Old Darby’s wife, Megan McQuinn,
Produced Irish twin after twin
For, without a doubt
After pushing one out,
She invited old Darby back in.

If you like those (and why wouldn't you?) there are more here and here. Also, please feel free to write your own and leave them in the comments. I'm looking at you, Elizabeth Sullivan.

Comments (3) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Yay for Beaner the wiener!

  2. Beaner sounds awesome.

  3. Dan Window Wiper loved to have fun
    Even while wiping from the top rung
    He once rubbed some glass
    And out popped from frame a fine lass
    Dan pushed his way in till he hit lung

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