Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

More Random “Facts”

Posted on October 11, 2010

I've posted random facts that I made up before. Here are more:

- The average, adult Eastern Gray Squirrel reads only 1.8 books per year.

- Fraternal twins cannot feel each other's pain, but they can feel each other’s sense of wonderment.

- Carburators used to be called horselesscarriageburators.

- Pacific Islanders have over two hundred patronizing eye rolls for the word “tourist.”

- Supermodels cannot be classified as "super" until passing a 2-month inspection process by the FDA.

- Newton's Fifth Law of Motion was about it not being "the size of the ship, but rather the motion of the ocean."

- Jarlsberg cheese contains only 2% jarls.

- Americans use enough plastic bags each year to carry the entire grocery store purchases of the United States’ population for 12 months.

- The only letter not represented in the Periodic Table of Elements is the letter “J” because it was sick that day.

- Orville Redenbacher rode to work every day in a one-man submarine/hydrofoil from the Sharper Image.

- The first coast-to-coast telephone call in 1914 transmitted the phrase “Yo, what up, sluts?”

- The top-selling blue jean color is “Andy Ross Piercing Eyes Blue.”

- Polar bears hate mummies and vice-versa.

- Hershey Kisses are named after the factory machine that seems to “kiss” them down onto the conveyor belt. They were originally called Hershey Bug Poops.

- Burlesque was invented at the hottest Miss America pageant on record.

- Only one in every three million people is truly left-handed. The rest are artsy fakers.

- The adult human body contains 206 bones and one Lego.

- Shakespeare invented the words “proactive,” “chocoholic,” and “jeggings.”

- The human brain is made up of 80% celeb gossip.


Random “Facts”

Posted on May 20, 2010

A list of random, fun facts I made up:

Abraham Lincoln’s brain weighed 40 score and 200 grams.

Our word for “sweater” comes from the Norse god Svetinöðr, god of comfy knits and fetid goat’s milk.

The world record for the longest beard is 3 ½ centimeters.

In WWII, housewives used beaded curtains on their showers in order to donate shower doors to the war front.

The word “MILF” was first coined by Plato in his work, The Republic.

The most common name in 2009 was Shmuley. Boy or girl.

In Victorian England, a popular hobby among the elite was crafting tiny bowlers and top hats for honeybees.

More plates are broken accidentally each year at the Cheesecake Factory in Schaumburg, Illinois than on purpose in all Greek restaurants worldwide.

The average American has two extra “backup” eyes floating around somewhere inside his or her body.

Leonardo da Vinci invented the parachute in 1515, though he thought he had invented a new chili recipe.

In your lifetime, you will swim an average of 2,000 miles in your sleep, due to sleep swimming.

Somewhere, someone is totally doing it right now. You know, it.

The average lifespan of an unopened Twinkie is 25 days. The average lifespan of an opened Twinkie is mmfph mmff mphhmm.

Wild golden retrievers have been known to build underground colonies that can stretch up to 15 miles.

The most expensive diamond in the world has been stolen 42 times, each time by a crew of baby geniuses.

Mountain ogres account for up to 80% of all hiking deaths.

The original mascot for the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team was Rummy the Rum-Drinking Alcoholic. He could only sober up by drinking healthy, refreshing beer.

Ice cube trays are for making ice cubes.

Pickles can be turned back into cucumbers through an expensive process called “de-gherking.”

The only U.S. president* who could breathe underwater was Rutherford B. Hayes. (*Because of the voodoo involved, Grover Cleveland wasn’t technically breathing underwater.)

The red-eyed tree frog of Central America can speak to humans once a year on Christmas morning, but it won’t because it’s selfish.

[Author's note: I sure hope a couple of these make it into some aunt’s email forward one day.]