Rogue Cop
Yes, I am a rogue cop who does whatever it takes to bring scumbags to justice. Yes, I play by my own rules. But, at least I have rules. Nobody acknowledges that part.
Here are my rules:
- I will never punch a baby. No matter what information it might know.
- I will only plant evidence on the guilty.
- I will always avenge the mob-related deaths of my informants within one week of said death.
- I will never own a car built after 1985.
- I will keep my stubble healthy through weekly conditioning treatments.
- I will hand in my badge and firearm at least once during every case.
- I will own only timeless, never trendy leather jackets.
- I will only sometimes plant evidence on my ex-wife's jerk boyfriend.
- I will grunt grudging acceptance of my new black and/or female partner.
- I will shroud my past in lonesome secret.
- I will refer to everyone by his or her last name.
- I will keep a photo of my estranged children next to my bed to provide some small point of empathy.
- I will drink all the time. That's a promise.
- I will use the c-word in front of priests but never nuns.
- I will roll my own cigarettes, which is not at all a silly affectation reserved for men who lacked a strong male presence in their teens.
- I will never play frisbee.
- I will strut. Again, that's a promise.
