Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

The Apocalypse

Posted on March 2, 2011

Apocalypse

Oh no, it's the Apocalypse already? But, I have so much stuff left on my to-do list!

Shoot! I thought I had more time before the End of Days. Are you kidding? It really snuck up on me. I guess I should have listened to that Bible-thumping Chinese lady on the train. I thought she was talking in metaphors. In metaphors!

Now what am I supposed to do? Do I just rush through writing the ending of my novel and try sending it off to a publisher? They're probably pretty busy clinging to their loved ones and making peace with their god. And, I doubt UPS is on schedule, what with the rivers of fire. Also, I’ve still got no idea how to tie up the bank robbery plot. You can’t rush these things.

I’ll have to put my novel in the "B" priority list. For now.

What has first priority now is … shit, I was never good at this. Should I clean out the fridge before it’s consumed into a chasm of nothingness? It seems like maybe that’d be a waste. On the other hand, I haven’t cleaned it since I moved in …

Ah man! And I totally intended to take that wicker furniture weaving class this summer! I swear I was gonna see it through this time. I’d put it off forever, but now I'd even looked up classes on their website. But, sheesh, now that Armageddon is here, I might never weave my own rattan ottoman.

What have I been doing this whole time leading up to the end of the world? I mean, yes, I made up a to-do list. That was good for me. Normally, I don’t even get that far. But, then we hooked up the Wii, and I bought that book about treehouses … I just thought I’d have more time before the angels of destruction descended upon the lands bearing swords of pestilence and famine.

Stuff like this always pops up when you don’t expect it. There's a lesson about procrastination in here somewhere.

Well, I guess I’ll just bite the bullet and start in on these taxes. Normally, I’d wait until April, but if I don’t do ‘em now, they’ll never get done.

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