Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

In Your Pocket

Is that a golf pencil in your pocket, or are you just disappointed to see me?

Is that a packet of tissues in your pocket, or are you still thinking about Tiffani-Amber Thiessen?

Is that a pocket in your pocket? Are those jeans?

Is that a cell phone in your pocket, or is your dick playing Chamillionaire?

Is that a bindle of cocaine in your pocket, or did you not realize what a "chili party" was code for?

Is that an iPad in your pocket? That's a big pocket! Oh, it's a tote bag?

Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you very intimidating to me for some reason?

Is that your twelve-point business plan to start a chain of frozen yogurt stands in your pocket, or are you just a prospective investor?

Is that your uncle's hand in your pocket, or did you not want me to bring up bad memories?

Is that a chopstick in your pocket, or is your dinker oddly skinny? [Yeah, dinker. I said it. I'm not afraid to get all NSFW up in here.]

Is that a gavel in the pocket of your judicial robe, or what's going on in there, Justice Thomas?

Is that an engagement ring in your pocket, or have the last seven years been a complete waste, like my mother keeps saying?

Is that a Latin dictionary in your pocket, or do you arrigo, arrigere, arrigas?

Is that a chocolate eclair in your pocket? Me too.