18 Things to Do Before You Die:
1) Watch the sun set across the Grand Canyon.
2) Swim with dolphins in the Caribbean.
3) LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!
Whew! Holy cow! Man, are you okay?
Good thing you jumped out of the way! Are you sure you're okay?
Alright… Let’s get back to the list then…
4) Learn to play an instrument.
5) Climb Machu Picchu.
6) Whoa, Buddy, DON'T EAT THAT PEANUT!
Jesus. Did you forget about your peanut allergy? You've gotta be more vigilant about that.
Seriously. Okay, moving on...
7) Drink champagne at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
8) Make love to... a...
...that ladder looks a little shaky. Maybe don't stand on the top step like that. WHOA!!! WHOA WHOA WHOA!! GRAB HOLD OF THE BOOKSHELF! Here, give me your hand!
Okay, now put your foot on the wardrobe. Stay there while I hold the ladder.
What the hell, man? Do you not want to make it through this list? You need to be more careful.
10) HEY! A cattle prod is not a toy! Don't you realize you're standing in a puddle of water?
You know what? I think that's enough for the list. Clearly you're not interested in doing any of this stuff before you die.
Which is too bad, because I had some great ideas about dancing in the moonlight and reading The Bhagavad Gita in its original Sanskrit. But, you go ahead and keep taunting that cobra.
NO, STOP! I was only joking about taunting the cobra! Don't do that! Jesus, dude…