Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Things to Do Before You Die

Posted on April 22, 2011


18 Things to Do Before You Die:

1) Watch the sun set across the Grand Canyon.

2) Swim with dolphins in the Caribbean.


Whew! Holy cow! Man, are you okay?

Good thing you jumped out of the way! Are you sure you're okay?

Alright… Let’s get back to the list then…

4) Learn to play an instrument.

5) Climb Machu Picchu.

6) Whoa, Buddy, DON'T EAT THAT PEANUT!

Jesus. Did you forget about your peanut allergy? You've gotta be more vigilant about that.

Seriously. Okay, moving on...

7) Drink champagne at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

8) Make love to... a...

...that ladder looks a little shaky. Maybe don't stand on the top step like that. WHOA!!! WHOA WHOA WHOA!! GRAB HOLD OF THE BOOKSHELF! Here, give me your hand!

Okay, now put your foot on the wardrobe. Stay there while I hold the ladder.

What the hell, man? Do you not want to make it through this list? You need to be more careful.

10) HEY! A cattle prod is not a toy! Don't you realize you're standing in a puddle of water?

You know what? I think that's enough for the list. Clearly you're not interested in doing any of this stuff before you die.

Which is too bad, because I had some great ideas about dancing in the moonlight and reading The Bhagavad Gita in its original Sanskrit. But, you go ahead and keep taunting that cobra.

NO, STOP! I was only joking about taunting the cobra! Don't do that! Jesus, dude…


Give Me Liberty

Posted on July 17, 2010

Give me liberty or give me death. Ooh, or an ice cream sandwich. I’d much rather have that than death.

Here’s the question, though: Would I rather have an ice cream sandwich or liberty? Because, liberty is super important. I totally realize liberty is important. Thousands have fought and died for my liberty. But, it’s crazy hot today. An ice cream sandwich would be sooooo good.

It was an easy choice between death and ice cream. Ice cream sandwich all the way. But, liberty—without liberty, what do you have left? Oppression, that’s what.  Without ice cream, what do you have? Cake. Pudding. Popsicles.  Tons of stuff.

I’ve changed my mind. Give me liberty. I’m for sure going with liberty. Ooh, and a popsicle.