Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Favorite Parts of Dinner

Posted on September 9, 2010


Dear Darcy,

Thank you so much for having us over for the delicious dinner last night. I think my favorite part was the conversation, which was wonderful. My second favorite part was the food. Not that the food wasn’t great—it was. I just liked the conversation slightly more.

My third favorite part of the evening was the napkins. I loved that you went full out with linen. Real classy. I almost enjoyed the fancy napkins even more than the food. Again, not that the food was bad; it was delicious. I just really liked those napkins.

My fourth favorite part was the appetizers. Do those count as the food? If so, include them as a subsection of my second favorite part about last night. If not, then they were my fourth favorite part.

My fifth (or fourth depending on how things fell in the last paragraph) was the temperature. Really good job on the temperature, Darcy. A lot of people get that wrong.

My sixth favorite part was when I made that joke about lemons, and wine came out your cousin’s nose from laughing. That might sound like I’m bragging about how funny my joke was, but I’m not. Everybody knows how funny I am at dinner parties. That’s a given. I just really liked how everybody rushed to help clean wine off of your cousin. I liked it sixth best of all the things about last night.

My seventh favorite part was not having to help do dishes.

My eighth favorite part was when the smoke detector went off because of the oven, and Sean scrambled to get it down from the ceiling. The evening felt truly alive at that moment. I shall cherish that memory forever.

My ninth favorite part was the anticipation as we first walked up to your door. What would you serve for dinner? Turned out it was lentils. Which were delicious. (Not amazingly delicious, though. Just regular, really delicious. Just a touch more salt, and they would have shot past conversation in my order of favorites.)

I feel like maybe I’m implying that some parts of last night’s dinner were not as good as others. No no no. Everything was splendid. The margin of difference between all these favorites is very narrow. I would say the conversation just barely eked out first place in the end.

I could go on listing all my favorite parts of the meal (there are seven additional favorite parts), but I won’t. Everything was excellent. Some things slightly more excellent than others.

Can’t wait to have you over to our new place, where you can judge which aspects you like from best to least.

Thanks again for thinking of us,
Andy (& Colleen)


Favorite Dog Breeds

Posted on July 14, 2010

Scottish Terrier

A list of my favorite breeds of dog, along with quick descriptions of their temperament:

Golden Retriever
– loving, loyal, goofy

Scottish Terrier
– sweet, silly, rambunctious

Highland Goathound
– bullish, strong-willed, observant

Royal Dutch Pompadour
– elitist, flippant, obfuscating

Flat-Faced Dimplepinscher
– jaundiced, jittery, hyperglycemic

Italian Petite Bangs Terrier
– pointy, grateful, lilac-scented

Belgian Grundler
– impish, avuncular, annotated

Silky Chuptopper
– distractible, randy, semi-formal

Taiwanese Shin Shin
– ovular, prescient, newfangled

Mottled Chestermeyer
– narcissistic, reciprocating, perspicacious

Irish Bogie Whiner
– symptomatic, encrusted, stringent

Mustachioed Bugli
– pedantic, impromptu, rabble-rousing

Austrian Corbinbersen
– garrulous, blubbery, extemporaneous

Manchester Tonguehound
– tangential, hackneyed, rough-hewn

Friggen Yaws Terrier
– mollycoddled, querulous, milquetoast