Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Lack of Sleep

Posted on January 20, 2011

This might be the lack of sleep talking, but I'm very grumpy and cold. There's not enough sunshine out. Also, my eyelids are heavy, and everything is stupid, and I hate everything. Again, that might be the lack of sleep talking.

Why did you let me stay up so late reading celebrity gossip blogs? I thought we talked about this. If you let me stay up late, I'm going to be grumpy in the morning, and that'll make you grumpy. Why would you want to make yourself grumpy? I'm so mad at you for doing that.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not your fault that I'm upset; it's my lack of sleep. Also this lady walking ahead of us. Why is she walking so slowly?!! JESUS CHRIST, LADY!

Whoa, short fuse. I've got a short fuse this morning. I apologize. I'm sure everything will be better once I get some coffee and once I shove this old lady out of the way. What? Whad'ya mean I can't push an old lady? Why are you being so difficult?

I swear, if I had gotten more sleep or if I was in a better mood, you would let me push that old woman into a snow bank. You're so mean to me when I'm tired---never letting me push old ladies or yell at cars. I don't know why you have to be so cruel. When I'm fully rested, you never seem cruel at all. But, when I'm sleepy and grumpy---that's when you become a mean jerkpants.

Goddamnit I'm so tired.

You know what? That was out of line. I should never have called you a poopy-face jerkpants. Let's go back to bed for a few hours, and when we wake up, I can make it up to you. Also, let's quit our jobs so that we don't have to get up early anymore.

I think this is a good plan. I think this plan is gonna work out great. The first step, though, is turning around and going back to our nice warm bed---

Owww, stop pulling my arm towards the subway! You're being unreasonable!