Wait For It… a blog by Andy Ross

Tired Today

Posted on May 3, 2011

A list of reasons as to why I might seem a little run down today:

- It’s raining, and I’m never my best when it rains.

- I had a weird dream last night about a staring contest with a goat. Very disturbing.

- There might be some slight anemia issues around my all-bagel diet.

- Last night, there was a marathon of some Sy Fy Network show from Canada. I don’t remember the name or storyline, but for some reason, I need to watch seven hours of it.

- After the marathon, I decided I should investigate starting a tumblr.

- There are a lot of tumblrs about cute puppies.

- My wife suffers from night pudgilism, which means she sits up and punches me like an old-timey boxer with a handlebar mustache.

- I drank four glasses of ice tea right before bed.

- A garbage truck idled outside my window at 5am. That shit is garbage.

- I had to get up early before somebody ate the last bagel. (Meaning me. I’m a sleep eater, which is very unsatisfying.)

- I didn’t get my cup of coffee this morning, because somebody broke the coffee pot. (Me.)

- The trains were really crowded, so I didn’t have room for my usual 8am nap.

- A bunch of other stupid reasons, which are stupid.

- Sorry, I’m a little grumpy from lack of sleep.

Goodnight, everybody. Oh wait, what? It’s only 5:37 pm? And, they’re showing Terminator 2: Judgement Day on AMC tonight at 11pm? Well, I guess I have to stay up for that.

Good luck, everyone who has to deal with me tomorrow. You poopbuttheads.


Lack of Sleep

Posted on January 20, 2011

This might be the lack of sleep talking, but I'm very grumpy and cold. There's not enough sunshine out. Also, my eyelids are heavy, and everything is stupid, and I hate everything. Again, that might be the lack of sleep talking.

Why did you let me stay up so late reading celebrity gossip blogs? I thought we talked about this. If you let me stay up late, I'm going to be grumpy in the morning, and that'll make you grumpy. Why would you want to make yourself grumpy? I'm so mad at you for doing that.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not your fault that I'm upset; it's my lack of sleep. Also this lady walking ahead of us. Why is she walking so slowly?!! JESUS CHRIST, LADY!

Whoa, short fuse. I've got a short fuse this morning. I apologize. I'm sure everything will be better once I get some coffee and once I shove this old lady out of the way. What? Whad'ya mean I can't push an old lady? Why are you being so difficult?

I swear, if I had gotten more sleep or if I was in a better mood, you would let me push that old woman into a snow bank. You're so mean to me when I'm tired---never letting me push old ladies or yell at cars. I don't know why you have to be so cruel. When I'm fully rested, you never seem cruel at all. But, when I'm sleepy and grumpy---that's when you become a mean jerkpants.

Goddamnit I'm so tired.

You know what? That was out of line. I should never have called you a poopy-face jerkpants. Let's go back to bed for a few hours, and when we wake up, I can make it up to you. Also, let's quit our jobs so that we don't have to get up early anymore.

I think this is a good plan. I think this plan is gonna work out great. The first step, though, is turning around and going back to our nice warm bed---

Owww, stop pulling my arm towards the subway! You're being unreasonable!